This is a story about a man name Grungles who lives under a bridge in the City of Lies. You see, the City of Lies is divided by a river and three bridges cross this river: The Bridge of Hate, The Bridge of Wrath, and The Bridge of Treachery. As for where these bridges got their names, well that is a whole different tale.
Long before the city stood on this spot, the river marked the edge of the known world, or at least what was thought to be "the civilized world." Truth is the civilized people always knew there was more to the world and there were those who knew more still. Indeed, they had contact with a savage people. One who would visit from far beyond the river, for they had access to some method of crossing the vast desert. A method that eluded the civilized people. And these savages would come, sometimes to trade furs and ores. But, other times, they would come to raid. And, with the bones of raided livestock, the built three bridges so as to ease their coming and going. And they cursed these bridges, so that the civilized people would never come near. And, these bridges, they named: The Bridge of Hate, The Bridge of Wrath, and the Bridge of Treachery.
Now here is where we come back to Grungles. Because he was hunting, one day, for nutria rats and his javelin found its way on the other side of the river. And he went to retrieve his javelin, fearing how he would survive without it. And he braced for some debilitating curse but none befell him and, for the first time, he began to question the magic of the savages. And, as he did, vast fertile fields, strewn with clean waterways, revealed themselves to him. For the desert had been an illusion.
So Grungles went to the king with this information: that to defeat the magic of the savages, you need only to stop fearing it. And the word spread. And the illusion disappeared. And the new frontier was open to be civilized. So the king's army hunted down the savages and exterminated them and they plowed over the fertile fields and built cities and airports.
And on the spot where Grungles first broke the curse, the king tore down those bridges of bone and replaced them with bridges of marble, but they kept their former names. And he founded a city there: The City of Lies, to remind the people of the trickery of the savages. And he named Grungles lord of this city and its surrounding country.
But soon after, this king was usurped by a man from a far more powerful family. And this new king hated Grungles because he dressed like a bird and walked around bobbing his head and dancing and singing in a fake nigger accent, which was all unbecoming of a noble. So he revoked all of Grungles' titles and banished him to the slums.
Now, it is said that Grungles makes his home under one of these three bridges. Or perhaps all three. And he waits under there in quiet vigil, feasting on rats. And, whenever he finds the opportunity, he swipes a little girl from the bridge and has sex with her.